“The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman.”
– Elisabeth Elliot
The lifelong question that has too many answers to say – “Who do I aspire to be?” I have so many goals inside of my mind of who I want to be, how I want to contribute to my marriage, son, family, and everyone around me. A lot of my problem majority of the time is I have so many ideas of things I want to accomplish, and yet I can’t even figure out where to start. By the time I recognize a few of my goals, I have an entirely new list of other things I want to do or be in my life. Well, what do I really want?
“Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.”
Proverbs 31:25-31 NKJV
This scripture is one that has been seen to be overused somehow amongst other Christian women but I think at some point we start to read the words too quickly rather than letting them sink in. When I read this scripture, everything I aspire to be and do is rooted in these principles. But what I HATE is the fact that I am still in my flesh on this earth and I will always struggle and strive to live rightly. I could go into depth of all the things I want to do in life but of all of them, I want to please God with my thoughts, words, and actions. Though I fail Him daily, I know that I want to live in His word, ask for forgiveness consistently, and rest in His grace and peace. Not only does that settle my spirit to know that He loves me as His own and went to the cross to save me from the sins I deserve to be punished for, but it leads me to desire to share His goodness with others around me because I am nothing apart from Him.
“So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God. But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.”
Romans 8:8-11 NKJV
To finish this off, I’m going to brain dump all of the specific goals that have been flooding my mind for a while:
I want to be more organized. I want to figure out a system for everything so that I do not become overstimulated by my own things. I not only have goals of what I aspire to be, but intentions to remove all the aspects of myself that doesn’t please the Lord. I want to put my covetousness of others in a chokehold – I want to kill the idea of others having it “better” than me as a homemaker. I want to stop comparing myself to other women online who do this whole wife and mom thing with such elegance and grace. The things I strive to do have always turned out a little rough around the edges and it’s been an uncomfortable, unnatural learning curve for me. I want to admire and be encouraged by other women of God, not criticize my outcomes because it looks different than theirs. I hope to teach my son meaningful lessons and skills that will actually help him in the future. Examples? Communication, forgiveness, critical thinking, humility, selflessness.. I want him to value the things in life that actually matter. I pray that he nurtures His relationship with Christ and holds it above all else in life. I pray that church is a place of peace and comfort as opposed to it becoming a place of trauma and distrust. I want to learn how to cook and bake better, I’d like to invest more time into things that bring me joy and I want to share that with others. I want to rely fully on Christ in the (many) moments I feel all the weight on my shoulders when it’s not my place to carry it all. I look forward to the days I surrender the control I think I have and remember who really holds that place. There are so many more things I aspire to be and do but for now I think this is more than enough to address and work towards. Not all today or tomorrow, maybe not even this month – but I know that I have the ability to be patient and gentle with my growth without giving up on my goals. At the end of the day, my aspirations reflect my deep desire to please and be in better alignment with Christ and His word, and I look forward to seeing all the ways the Lord helps me to grow and honor Him with all that I do, constantly recognizing my unending need for His love, grace, and truth.
“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”
Colossians 3:12-17 NKJV
Christian Wife And Mama 